truffle shuffle

We went for another scan earlier this week to make sure that baby's placenta had moved safely away from K's cervix. Fortunately it was well clear but we then had some slightly more disturbing news.

Our offspring has been fed so well (not on ice cream and biscuits) on wholesome organic veg and meat that we have somehow spawned a bit of a chunky little bugger.

S/he (we still haven't given in and found out which card we've been dealt) is at the top of the average measurements and mass scale, has a bonce as wide as it's waist and is weighing in at a healthy 6lb 3oz (roughly 2.8kg).

All very well and good you might think until you look at the reference books and read the general growth figures for this stage of pregnancy. They all say that on average from now on the baby gains 1 lb/week.

We could either find ourselves in the Guinness Book of World Records or have Bernard Matthews knocking on our door asking what our secret diet for such weight gain is.

On top of all this one has to remember that my poor wife (measuring only 5'2") will have to somehow deliver this not so little bundle of joy.

I foresee much swearing and perhaps a few painkilling drugs on the big day.